Looking for a low mileage BMW X5 for sale in my area.

ive been staring at auto trader and car-gurus for like three weeks straight now and my brain is honestly starting to turn into mush but I really need to pull the trigger soon because my old Lexus is literally on its last legs and the mechanic told me it isnt worth another repair. I am specifically hunting for a low mileage G05 X5 here in northern jersey because i really dont want to drive more than fifty miles to pick this thing up and deal with out of state registration headaches. my budget is capped at 55k absolute max but i would really prefer to stay closer to 50k if i can because insurance is going to be a nightmare too.

im currently torn between two or three very different situations and i cant stop stressing about which way to go. first option is a 2021 xDrive40i at a dealership over in Edison and it has 22,000 miles on it. its a certified pre owned which gives me some peace of mind but they are asking 53k for it and it feels a little steep for a three year old car even if it is super clean. my logic was that the CPO warranty is worth the extra cash especially with how expensive bmw repairs can get but then i found this other one.

the second option is a 2022 model from a private seller in hoboken with only 14,000 miles which is crazy low but he wants 57k and wont budge at all. its the sDrive though not the xDrive which makes me nervous for when it snows here even though i know we dont get as much as we used to lately. i also found a 2020 with only 19k miles for 46k but its the older infotainment tech and im worried about the long term reliability of the earlier models of this generation and it doesnt even have the premium package.

so basically my options are:

• the 2021 CPO with 22k miles for 53k
• the 2022 private sale with 14k miles for 57k (stretching the budget)
• the 2020 with 19k miles for 46k

im just worried if i go private i might be buying someones headache but that 2022 is so crisp looking and basically brand new inside. is the extra money for the CPO really worth it for the peace of mind or should i just grab the lowest mileage one possible and buy an aftermarket warranty later? my wife thinks im overthinking it but this is a huge chunk of our savings and i need this to last at least five or six years for the kids school runs and our summer trips...